Journey as a fat girl....

My journey as a fat girl
To fat for love
My name is Shearees
I just turned  30 in July.
My weight loss journey began in 2017. 
Growing up I was always that chubby girl the one with the big bust, You know the girl that has all the pretty friends that can rock any outfit.
I wanted to be skinny, Because finally then I'd be beautiful enough. (because that's what society teaches us) 
I was born with epilepsy and later on in my life as an adult developed anxiety and depression. 
Due to the fact that my epilepsy medication affected my eyesight, weigh, moods and memory etc.. 
In 2010 I suffered a great loss (my son) After trying to fall pregnant for 3 years. I fell pregnant I carried my son almost full term. 
My depression became worse and I began to over eat, Because when I lost him, i lost a peace of myself. 
Later on I had a breakup (he cheated)
I entered a new relationship with a woman. 
She made me feel like, She understood my loss 
Another failed relationship hit me. (she cheated on me) keep in mind that both ladies they cheated on me with were (skinny) this gave me a self confidence problem. 
I then went in to another relationship but let's leave that for later.
My ex came across a photo of me on Facebook posting about how long my hair has gotten and She sent me a WhatsApp saying u gained weight, Since the last time I saw you. My heart sunk. 
I decided revenge is sweet 
Just Iike you I used it all and lost money in the process if it didn't work as promised.
I came across this amazing pill and lost 30kgs and then sent her another photo with the same shirt on, Standing in the exact same way. I attached a text message to the photo that said who is the fat ex now. Suddenly she stated having a conscious. Suddenly I'm good enough and  she now wanted to fix everything (Little to late) 
(NOT DUMB) I blocked and deleted her🖐️
Back to the new relationship. She started treating me differently the more I stated loving myself and building myself confidence up the more she pulled Way from me. 
Yeah you know it (CHEATING ON ME ) I then put my energy in to selling the product, that gave me this new self love, the product that helping me with my depression. 
I Got out of that relationship because not only was this person a cheater, But also a physical and emotional abuser. My mind kept wondering but if I'm skinny and finally beautiful, why did she cheat on me?
I fell in love again with another woman. 
(Who is now my wife) Before I knew it I met her online and moved back to JHB from Nelspruit (But told her I only wanted to be "friends" with benefits), because I couldn't understand how someone can talk to me al days and treat me good after  seeing me on a video call without makeup on, 
But the more I fought the feelings the more I develop feelings, The more, I fell in love with her. 
We started dating on the 12th of August 2020 and we got married the 13th of Feb 2021. 
I'm finally happy, healthy and in love, wanted and needed. 
My depression is basically gone. My anxiety is under control and As for the epilepsy? it's still there but my wife helps me, Drink my meds and helps me deal with accepting my seizures and dealing with it. 
I'm 30 still kept all the weight of after 3 years. 
I am happy, still living life and finally. I understand that being skinny gave me confidence and  gave me my life back,
But most importantly thought me that no matter how skinny you get society will never accept the way anyone looks and I'm okay with that because beauty is not about how beautiful or skinny you look on the outside but how beautiful you're heart is. 
My journey gave me a passion to help people lose weight and gain confidence.